The summit that I was not going to climb

Woke up in a tent at 12:30 am, my legs aching with pain. Today is the final day of the trek, and I am on the verge of quitting. We are suppose to start at 1:30 am and reach the summit by 5:40 am to witness the sunrise. Yesterday we had already covered almost 25 kms – walking through mountains, crossing rivers, and often forging our way through dense forest.

I used to think trekking was cool, but these four days were nothing short of hell. Today, the last day was no different – a total 14 kms had to be travelled on foot.

So here I am, sitting in my tent, weighing my decision to quit.

My reputation is at stake – my friends and family had high hopes about my fitness. Backing out now might turn me into a laughing stock. To make things worse, there is 10 year old kid on the trek who is doing much better than me.

It is 1:00 am already, and still I haven’t made up my mind. I have just half n hour to convey my decision to the trek leader.

That’s when a colleague from another tent calls out my name, checking if I am awake. I remember what he said the previous day when our trek leader asked everyone – “What’s your motivation behind this trek ?” – he answered, “Closure, I want to complete this because i tend to leave things incomplete.” That struck a chord with me. That had been my problem too.

But honestly, I still didn’t care enough. I told myself I’d survive even if I left it incomplete.

I give a shout out from the tent to my colleague – “Yes I am awake”. And somehow against my own will, I pack my bags, lace up my shoes, and get ready for this final stretch.

I decide to go with flow, follow my instincts.

And now here I am – having completed one of the hardest endeavours of my life.

My answer to the question (what’s my motivation for reaching the summit) comes not during the trek but much later, as I sit down to write this at the base camp

I loved doing hard things. And this was one of them. I am glad that I completed my first Himalayan trek – Deoriatal Chandrashil, 12083 feet and 35 kms

Otherwise I would have lost to myself.